


Surprise!

by saltsoldier



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: M/M, Secret Relationship, secret relationship reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 07:43:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7092661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltsoldier/pseuds/saltsoldier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Anders' birthday and the gang have a surprise planned for him, but Fenris and Anders have an even bigger surprise in store for the rest of the group.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprise!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even sure what this is. There was a prompt on tumblr somewhere that inspired this, so I am not entirely to blame.  
> Enjoy?

“So Blondie, what are you going to do with the rest of your birthday?” Varric asked as they made the trek down Sundermount.

“Oh, I’ll probably just go home and uh, relax. Do some things.” Anders stated, trying not to think of what, or more accurately _who_ he would be doing when he got back to his clinic.

He snook a look at Fenris and saw that the elf was smirking.

“By things you mean your manifesto, don’t you?” Hawke accused, her tone filled with disapproval.

“Uh, yeah. You caught me.” he stuttered, barely able to look away from the predatory smile on Fenris’ face.

“It’s your birthday, Anders. You’re doing good work but you need to take a break once in a while.” Hawke scolded.

Anders forced himself to focus on what Hawke was saying before he gave Fenris and himself away.

“I’m fine, Hawke. Honestly.” he promised.

“You’re working yourself into the ground.” Hawke reprimanded.

While that was technically true he had given Hawke more of a reason to believe that as of late. Whenever she was asking after him and he wanted to spend time with Fenris he was “working on his manifesto”. It was a convenient lie that helped keep their relationship a secret.

Anders hummed quietly to himself, contemplating the situation. He should talk to Fenris again about their relationship status. In the beginning they had both been cautious and had agreed that keeping the matter private was in everyone’s best interests. Now Anders wasn’t so sure anymore, all the lying was starting to feel unnecessary, he and Fenris had established a stable relationship after all. It would be worth bringing the topic up again sometime tonight, he thought.

They had been out on the coast for most of the day, and while Anders thought that was perhaps the third worst place to spend his birthday (the first being the Gallows and the second being the Deep Roads) he would get to spend the evening alone with the man he loved. It would be a nice, quiet night in, just the two of them. It would be perfect.

They made it back to Kirkwall with aching feet and heavy bags. Anders was pleased with the haul he had collected during this trip, he would have enough elfroot to keep the clinic stocked up for quite some time, and he had even managed to pick up some coin too.

He was about to turn and make his way to Darktown (Fenris would meet him there later) when Hawke suddenly grabbed his arm.

“Wait, wait, I forgot, I need you to come over.” Hawke yelped.

Anders raised one thin eyebrow at this sudden, desperate display.

“It’s Barkspawn. He cut his paw.” Hawke told him quickly.

“And?” Anders shot back, folding his arms.

“And you’re a healer. You can heal it, right?” Hawke asked, giving the mage her best puppy eyes.

“I work with people, Hawke, not _dogs_.” Anders pointed out, his lip curling in distaste.

“Please? Do it for me?” she begged.

Anders met Fenris’ gaze, just for a moment, and when the elf gave no argument he finally rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“The things I do for you.” he sighed.

Hawke grinned and pulled him into a bear hug, holding him so tight he could barely breathe. She only let go when Fenris made a retching noise from somewhere behind them. Anders made sure to shoot him a glare, just to keep up the pretence of hating each other, which earnt him a light shove from Hawke before she started leading them towards Hightown.

“Can you two cut it out for five minutes?” she groaned.

“C’mon, Broody. It’s his birthday, cut him some slack.” Varric coaxed.

Fenris grunted noncommittally and stared off to the side.

“What’s this? No cries of ‘abomination’ or ‘mage’, or even a ‘Fasta vass’? This is unprecedented! Quick, alert the chantry!” Anders crowed, grinning from ear to ear.

“Don’t be a tit.” Hawke scolded, cutting in before Fenris could make a comment.

“It’s my birthday, I’m allowed to be a little bit of a tit.” Anders reasoned.

They made more pleasant conversation on their way to Hightown. Fenris was uncharacteristically quiet, even when Anders made stupid comments that the warrior would usually chastise him for. The mage was used to it now since they would rarely argue in private, but he could see that Hawke was concerned.

Varric left them as they passed the Hanged Man, and Fenris said a quiet goodbye and headed towards his mansion when they finally reached Hightown. Anders watched Hawke’s gaze linger on him, her concern palpable. The woman didn’t have much family left, but she treated each and every one of her friends as if they were her own.

“He’ll be fine.” Anders promised Hawke as they continued on their way.

“No thanks to you.” She grumbled.

Anders frowned as he remembered that he was supposedly to blame for Fenris’ faux foul mood. He was beginning to hate having to make quips at the man he was secretly dating, but until Fenris made it clear he was comfortable sharing their relationship with the others he would have to keep up the pretence.

Hawke took note of Anders’ silence and continued to reprimand him.

“You could try not egging him on, y’know.”

“Oh, like he isn’t just as bad!” Anders snapped.

“He was making an effort just then!” Hawke shot back.

Anders took a deep breath and quickened his pace. It was difficult coming up with reasons to argue with Fenris, and the more he said the harder it got to justify. He really needed to ask Fenris about coming out to their friends, ASAP.

“You know I’m right.” Hawke continued when her littler legs finally caught up with his much longer ones.

“Look, Hawke, can we not do this right now? It’s been a long day and I am really not in the mood.” he sighed.

“Just promise me you’ll make an effort. At least try not to piss him off on purpose?” she begged.

Anders opened his mouth to argue before his shoulders sagged and he gave in.

“Fine.”

“Really?” Hawke asked, her eyes practically glittering.

“Yes, really, now stop nagging.” He snipped.

There was a prolonged moment of silence.

“I have been nagging, huh?” Hawke said quietly.

“Only a little.” Anders admitted.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to, I just-“

“No, it’s fine, really. Somebody has to keep us in line.” Anders told her with a little smile.

She smiled back before she opened the door to her house and let him in.

She called for her dog the moment she stepped foot in the house. Anders heard it scampering towards them before he actually saw the beast. It bounded up to Hawke and nearly knocked her flat, making a ridiculous whimpering noise the entire time. The creature had none of the grace or dignity that a cat did, and it slobbered twice as much. No, Anders was not fond of dogs, not even the one that belonged to Hawke.

“Which paw?” he asked quickly, frowning to himself. He hadn’t seen the dog limping or favouring other limbs when he had bounded over.

“Huh?” Hawke muttered, her brow dipping in confusion.

“Which paw has he hurt?” Anders clarified.

There was a look of dawning realisation on Hawke’s face.

“Oh, um… I-“ she stuttered, checking the dog’s paws individually as it sat obediently, letting her do as she pleased. “I can’t seem to find the cut! How odd! It must have healed by itself. I heard somewhere that Mabari heal faster than any other breed of dog. Weird, huh? Well, sorry to waste your time. You should probably get home. Sorry.”

Anders blinked slowly as Hawke blathered on at him. Sure, the woman had always been eccentric but this was overkill. She was rambling on like her life depended on it, and she hadn’t offered to let him stay, which was strange. Anders thought he would be fighting to get out the door, that’s how it usually was. She _always_ tried to feed him, and she would often offer him a bed for a night. Not this time though, this time it seemed she wanted him gone.

“Oh, and you can’t use the underground passage, I’ve got uh, construction things going on in the basement. You’ll have to go the long way around.” She informed him as she guided him back towards the door a little too forcibly to be casual.

Anders was glad she had said that since it gave him an excuse to swing by Fenris’ place, but mostly he felt a little hurt. Had he upset Hawke? Had prodding at Fenris made her angry at him?

“Wait, Hawke, have I… have I pissed you off or something?” he asked quietly, his eyes wide.

“What? No, of course not. Don’t be silly.” She insisted, even as she pushed him out of the door.

She waved him a quick good bye, fixed him with a grin and then slammed the door shut behind him, leaving him alone in the street.

Anders stood, dumbfounded by this sudden outburst. He stared at the door for a moment, wondering if he should knock and demand that Hawke tell him why she was acting so oddly, but decided in the end that it probably wasn’t worth it. Hawke clearly didn’t want him there after all.

Just as he turned away the door swung open suddenly once again.

“Oh, make sure you get straight home, mister. It’s getting dark and we don’t want you to have to fight any thugs or Templars on your birthday.” Hawke demanded before slamming the door shut once more.

Anders was left more confused than ever.

***

He didn’t even have to walk all the way to Fenris’ mansion, the elf was leaning against the wall of one of the houses at the end of the street, waiting for him with a basket in hand. Anders was glad that the elf had the good sense to pick up some food for them but was too preoccupied by Hawke’s strange behaviour to really appreciate the gesture.

“Fancy meeting you here.” Fenris teased as Anders approached, a smirk on his face.

His smile died immediately when Anders didn’t reciprocate.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, his expression tight.

“I think I might have pissed Hawke off.” Anders sighed.

“Oh?”

“It was like she couldn’t get rid of me quickly enough. I don’t know. Maybe we’ve been arguing a little too convincingly?”

Fenris looked him over, assessing the situation before he stepped forward and put a hand on Anders’ wrist, squeezing gently.

“I am sure it is nothing.” He reassured his mage, a genuine smile gracing his face.

Anders grunted before forcing a smile of his own.

“Let’s not think about that now.”

“Yes.” Fenris agreed. “Where are we heading?”

“Mine, if you don’t mind. I need to make sure there are no emergencies at the clinic.” Anders explained.

There was also the fact that they were less likely to be caught in Darktown, and he also wouldn’t have to get up at a ridiculous time to walk back and open his clinic tomorrow if he was already there.

Fenris nodded in agreement and they headed towards the clinic.

They were a little more daring now that Hawke and Varric weren't with them, walking close enough to brush hands as they made their way through the streets of Lowtown. They hadn't yet reached a point in their relationship they felt ready to indulge in public displays of affection but they were getting there.

When they finally reached the clinic Anders paused outside of the door for a moment to find his keys. Fenris stood close enough to peer over his right shoulder, the elf's left hand resting low on the door, bracketing his hips and trapping the mage there. Anders sucked in a sharp breath, and one quick glance to the side told him that Fenris knew exactly what he was doing. He could feel the elf’s warm breath on the back of his neck, sending shivers down his spine.

“It is your birthday.” Fenris purred, his voice sinfully low.

“So I’ve been told.” Anders shot back, trying not to act as flustered as he felt.

They had been so much more intimate than this, but never in public. Being in such close proximity to Fenris in the open (and surprisingly empty) streets of Darktown was enough to have his heart racing, as silly as that was. He turned his head slightly and watched as Fenris leaned in, closing the gap between them. The angle was a little awkward but it was their first public kiss and it had Anders craving _more_. He had never really been much for public displays of affection but he was sure as long as it was with Fenris it was something he could very quickly get used to.

“Mage.” Fenris breathed.

“Yes?” Anders replied breathlessly.

“The door.”

Anders realised he had stopped trying to find his keys.

“Oh. I should probably get back on that, huh?” he muttered.

“The sooner you open the door the sooner I can give you your birthday present.” Fenris purred suggestively.

Anders had little doubt what exactly his birthday present would be. A night all alone with Fenris, no patients to interrupt, no missions from Hawke, no manifesto to write… suddenly Anders couldn’t find his keys fast enough.

When he finally found the key and got the newly fitted lock (courtesy of Varric) open he pushed the door and stepped into his pitch black clinic. In the day natural light streamed through the sunlights and brightened the room, but at night only the hanging brazier kept the place lit. Darktown truly lived up to its name and the parts of it that were dark were as pitch black as the Deep Roads in some places, so at night his clinic was almost unnaturally dim. Anders made to light the brazier magically (it was far too high up to do it manually) but before he could strong hands steered him towards the nearest wall.

He was distantly aware of the front door closing, enveloping the entire room in a pitch black darkness that would certainly have bothered him at any other time. Right now, with Fenris pressed against him, his lyrium brands glowing ever so faintly, their lips pressed together… right now Anders couldn’t care less.

Fenris started ravishing his neck with kisses, making him moan a little louder than he probably should. He couldn’t see his lover but he could practically feel the proud little smirk that was surely there. Fenris helped him out of his coat and it fell to the ground with a thunk. The next to go was his shirt, and although they couldn’t see a thing Fenris took full advantage of the newly exposed flesh, his hands and mouth trailing slowly down.

Anders could see where this was going.

“Happy birthday to me.” He gasped, reaching clumsily in the dark until his fingers found Fenris’ hair.

As Fenris fiddled with his trousers Anders had the presence of mind to finally light the brazier. He lifted one hand to shoot a single, well aimed fireball towards the place on the ceiling where he knew the brazier hung. In an instant the room was filled with a warm, orange light.

The room was also full, surprisingly, with people.

“SURPRISE!” They crowed in unison, their voices hitting Anders like a ton of bricks.

He would admit to screaming a little. Or a lot. The sound that left him was short and sharp but it was _loud_. Only the cheers of the people that were occupying his clinic masked the naked fear in his voice.

Speaking of naked, he wasn’t wearing a shirt, and he very nearly wasn’t wearing pants.

He didn’t hear Fenris cry out but there was a look of fear in his eyes that Anders was sure mirrored his own. In an instant he was on his feet, standing protectively in front of Anders, his lyrium glowing almost unbearably bright. The fact that this was his first reaction, that he immediately turned to defend Anders… well, it was enough to melt Anders’ heart a little. Or it would have been, if the mage wasn’t currently too busy feeling completely and utterly mortified.

The room was filled, _absolutely filled_ with familiar faces. No wonder the streets had been so empty, half of Kirkwall must have been hiding in his clinic. At the forefront of the crowd he saw Hawke and the rest of her crew clumped together, the rest of the room was full of people who Anders had treated at one point or another. The clinic itself was decorated with banners and colourful ribbons, and most of the people there were wearing party hats.

Anders was forced to watch as the people who had gathered to surprise the Healer were surprised themselves. There were sharp gasps as everybody suddenly realised what exactly what they had interrupted.

“What the everloving fuck?!” Hawke cried, her voice cutting through the awkward silence that had descended upon the clinic.

Isabela began cackling wickedly and suddenly Fenris came to his senses. He turned to look back at Anders, who was still gaping uselessly at the crowd. He inched sideways to stand properly in front of him in an effort to protect his modesty, for which Anders was grateful for.

The dilemma of how to get his shirt back on without exposing his naked, scarred torso for everyone to see was running through his head. It was the least of his problems, but that was what his mind had fixated on.

“Everybody help yourself to drinks!” Varric called out suddenly, gesturing to a table that had been set up at the back of the clinic that was lined with pitchers and cups.

The desperate people of Darktown were not the sort of people who would pass up a free drink, the entire crowd made a mass exodus towards the back of the room immediately, giving Anders and Fenris a reprieve from their gaping stares.

Their little crew rushed forward as the rest of the crowd moved back. They were all very nicely dressed, ready for a party, and they were all wearing identical expressions of shock. Merrill was kind enough to retrieve Anders’ shirt for him, passing it to him over Fenris’ shoulder with a sweet smile while the others began to bombard them with questions.

“What in the Void is this?”

“Is this why you weren’t answering your door, Fenris?”

“How long has this been going on for?”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us-“

“You owe me two silvers-“

Everybody was speaking over each other and Anders felt himself shrinking into the wall. Fenris wasn’t faring much better, his eyes going impossibly wide. They were being crowded, cornered and neither of them dealt well with that. Suddenly Anders felt anger rise within him and he pushed past Fenris, nakedness be damned, to scold his friends.

“What in the Void is wrong with you people?!” Anders snarled. “What if I thought you were Templars? I could’ve seriously hurt you!”

“That’s why none of us stood near the door.” Merrill answered. “Also I may have cast a barrier. Just to be sure.”

“That’s beside the point, what in the Maker’s name is up with you two?” Aveline barked.

“What is up with us is none of your business! You broke into my home!” Anders yelled, his face flushing red with anger and embarrassment.

“Yeah, to throw you an awesome party.” Hawke pointed out, pouting fiercely.

“This-“ Anders spat, gesturing to his surroundings. “is the opposite of awesome! I can’t believe- Andrate’s tits, I need some air.”

He pushed past the crowd of friends that had gathered around him and raced straight to the door. It was only once he was actually outside that he realised he was still shirtless. He quickly covered himself with the shirt Merrill had passed back to him before he resumed pacing wildly in front of his clinic, fuming and panicking.

Things had been going so well with Fenris, what if this ruined it? What if a public relationship was a no go for the warrior? Anders knew how much his lover valued his privacy, he too enjoyed keeping this sort of thing to himself. A relationship was a sacred thing, sure he had lots of casual sex in his time but the only proper relationship he had been in before that had been Karl. He was open when it came to sex but actual relationships? They were something to be cherished, something that was his and his alone, not something he shared with anybody other than the person or people he was in a relationship with.

He slid down the side of the building and sat in the dirt just outside his clinic, burying his head in his hands and trying to force himself to calm down. He had a room full of people to deal with and a relationship to salvage, he couldn’t afford to fuck up any more than he already had.

He heard one of the doors that led into his clinic open but he didn’t look up to see who had joined him outside. He sat, staring intently down at the dirt as the person slid down next to him. He didn’t realise it was Fenris until he spoke.

“Mage?” he said softly, as if he was afraid harsh words would break the man beside him.

“Fenris… I am _so_ sorry.” He choked.

“You have nothing to apologise for.” Fenris assured him.

Anders finally looked up at the man beside him, his expression tight.

“Are you kidding me? That was a _complete disaster_.”

“It… could have gone better.” Fenris admitted.

Anders stared incredulously at his lover.

“Are you not upset about this?”

“Of course I am.” Fenris answered instantly.

Anders felt something inside of himself snap.

“Look… what do you want to tell them?”

Fenris didn’t answer him.

“Well?” he prompted.

“Fasta vass, I do not know! What do _you_ want?”

Anders just shrugged.

“If you are ashamed… we can tell them it was just this once.” Fenris murmured.

“Oh because telling them that we were just looking for a quick fuck makes this so much better!” Anders snapped.

“You would rather tell them that we are dating?” Fenris shot back.

“Yes!” Anders cried, his face flushing red.

There was a brief pause.

“Wait… truly?” Fenris asked, sounding honestly astonished.

“Of course!” Anders spat.

“You really want them to know that we are a couple?” Fenris inquired.

“Yes, as repulsive as that idea might sound to you-“ Anders began.

“Do not put words in my mouth, mage.” Fenris warned.

Anders opened his mouth to make a retort, but thought better of it. He sighed and fell silent, looking at Fenris expectantly.

“I thought…. When you stormed out like that I thought that perhaps you regretted this. Us.” Fenris told Anders, his voice small and defeated.

“Of course not, I would never- I just couldn’t deal with _them_. You’re not the problem, trust me. You’re the one thing that isn’t a problem here.” Anders assured him.

“We will tell them then? That we are a couple?” Fenris asked carefully.

“If you’re okay with that. I mean, I care about you, a lot. I’d like to take this relationship further.”

“I would also like that.”

They smiled at each other, leaning in to share a quick kiss. Anders thanked the Maker, Andraste, the elven gods and whatever other deities existed that he hadn’t managed to fuck this up.

“I have a confession.” Fenris admitted once their lips had parted.

Anders tilted his head, waiting for Fenris to expand upon what he had said patiently.

“I knew about the party.”

Anders’ jaw hit the floor.

“You knew?!”

“I had been made aware of it before, but I had forgotten. If I had remembered that there would be people, I would have never…” Fenris rambled.

“Oh, okay. Alight.” Anders breathed.

“Honestly, when I first heard about the idea I thought for sure that you would enjoy a party. Hawke did too. She seems quite upset that she erred.”

“She didn’t, I mean… I just freaked out because they caught us, you know. The party... It’s nice, that so many people have shown up. That they care.” He said, smiling to himself. “I mean, I wish half of Kirkwall hadn’t just seen me pressed up against the wall, moaning like I was being paid to do it, but you can’t have it all.”

Fenris nudged him playfully and they grinned at each other, their senses of humour slowly returning.

“Do you want your birthday present now?” Fenris asked suddenly.

“You want to have another go at it out here, in the middle of the street, eight hot seconds after being caught?” Anders asked incredulously.

“I meant your actual present, Amatus.” Fenris sighed.

“You got me a present?” Anders asked, genuinely shocked.

“I would be a very poor boyfriend if I did not get you anything.” Fenris drawled.

The casual use of the word boyfriend made Anders’ heart soar.

He watched as Fenris turned towards the basket he had apparently brought out with him. Anders had assumed that Fenris had picked up dinner for them, but clearly he had been wrong. Whatever was in the basket was a present, not a meal.

He peered over Fenris’ shoulder as the elf nudged whatever was in the basket, then froze when he heard a soft mewling noise coming from inside.

“No way…” he gasped as Fenris produced a sleepy kitten from inside the wicker basket.

It was a tiny little black thing, barely more than a ball of fur. It fidgeted in Fenris’ grip as he handed it over to Anders, who took it with shaking hands.

“You got me a cat.” Anders choked, trying not to cry.

“You always said that you wanted one.” Fenris explained.

Anders held the kitten close to his chest as he leaned in close to kiss Fenris again.

“I should probably go back in and apologise to everybody. I’ve been an ass.” Anders admitted with a heavy sigh.

“You are what you eat.” Fenris said seriously, with a sombre nod.

Anders glared at Fenris in disbelief before he burst out laughing.

That’s how the rest of the gang found them.

Hawke led the group outside, the lot of them looking meek after being yelled at earlier. They approached cautiously despite the fact that Anders was obviously in a much better mood.

“Look, Anders, Fenris-“ Hawke began, but Anders cut her off.

“Hawke, I’m sorry. I’ve been an ass. And a dick.” He apologised, maintaining eye contact with Fenris in an effort to continue the joke.

They both started laughing loudly, the others watching on in confusion.

“It’s so odd to see you two being so friendly with one another.” Aveline said slowly.

“You saw them being _very_ friendly with one another earlier, big girl.” Isabela purred, slinging an arm around the redhead.

“Seriously though, I’m sorry. I was stressed because, well, you know, and I acted like a complete jerk.” Anders told them earnestly. “Honestly nobody has thrown me a proper party like this since I was a child. It’s nice. Thank you, everybody.”

Hawke smiled proudly, grinning at Anders, then suddenly her smile fell.

“Wait, is that-? Oh Maker Fenris, not you too.” Hawke groaned.

Everyone except for the couple on the floor looked at Anders and groaned loudly, shaking their heads.

“Daisy, go and get them.” Varric told Merrill, sounding defeated.

Fenris and Anders looked about, their brows furrowed in confusion. After a moment Merrill returned with a box. When she placed it at Anders’ feet it became very apparent that the box was full of kittens.

“We all got him one.” Isabela told them.

" _All of us_." Varric stressed.

Anders gasped in delight and went about gathering them all up in his lap.

“I’m thinking you’re… Grand Enchanter Pretty Paws.” Anders announced, holding one of the kittens up to the level of his eye.

“Give them normal names.” Fenris told him.

“Like what?” Anders pouted.

“Fluffy? Sooty? Mittens?” Fenris suggested.

“They’re boring names. Our cats will not be boring.” Anders insisted.

“Are you two really a thing?” Varric asked suddenly.

They looked at each other before nodding.

“I really would never have guessed. No offense guys but you’re kind of vile to one another.” Hawke admitted.

“Not anymore.” Anders promised, and Fenris nodded in agreement.

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” Aveline groused.

“You will be seeing it from now on.” Fenris announced.

“So all that this afternoon… that wasn’t real?” Hawke asked.

They grinned sheepishly at her.

“You absolute jerks! I’ve been worried sick over nothing!” Hawke yelled, nudging Fenris’ knee with the toe of her boot.

“Guys.” Anders suddenly said, his lap full of kittens. “Thank you so much.”

Everyone smiled and Fenris inched closer, picking one of the many cats off of Anders’ lap.

“We should get back to the party. Everyone’s here to see you after all, Anders.” Hawke pointed out.

“They can wait a little longer.” Fenris reasoned, fussing the kitten he had picked up.

“Besides, I think they’ve all seen more of me than they ever wanted to.” Anders quipped, crooning over the many kittens in his lap and leaning against Fenris with a contented sigh.

Despite all that had gone wrong Anders decided that this was truly the best birthday he had ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative Title: Hawke can't lie for shit.


End file.
